BUSINESSMAN - 2ND PASS

Pigeon update

so Wesley and I talked yesterday and agreed that F and G were the designs we were liking most.  I tried to kind of combine the two designs and see if I could get something that was a happy medium between the two.  I don't feel like I'm pushing my designs enough though.  I still really like F, and #6 that I did today I think has really good shapes in it.  One of the big decisions for the pigeon design is how to do the eyes.  Beady and small like the finding nemo seagulls, or actual eyeballs with pupils.  I'm trying to find a way to design the pigeon where you can't quite tell if you should think it's cute or if you should be afraid of it.

The Story

by Wesley Tippetts


One lovely afternoon, a big city businessman decides to take his lunch break outside in a nearby park.  He walks up to a little bench, places his briefcase next to him and opens his sack lunch. He pulls out a sandwich and opens wide for his first bite.

Just before he bites the sandwich, he notices a pigeon. It flies up to him and stares at the sandwich with its big beady eyes. It tilts its head and blinks. The businessman looks nervously at his sandwich and then back at the pigeon. The pigeon licks it beak.

Suddenly, the pigeon attacks like a pitbull, latching onto the sandwich.  The businessman tries to yank the sandwich away, but the pigeon WILL NOT LET GO!

A tug-of-war ensues between a grown man and a small, but voracious pigeon. The business man tries with all his strength to pull his sandwich free...but he is overpowered and falls to the ground. The pigeon swallows the sandwich and looks down at him. It hops closer to him as he lays on the ground. 

The businessman feels around in his jacket for something else to give the pigeon so it won't eat him alive. He reaches inside his jacket and pulls out an Alka-Seltzer tablet. He looks at the pigeon. It licks its beak again. The businessman smiles, rips off the wrapper like he's pulling the pin of a grenade and chucks the Alka-Seltzer far away.  He then curls up in a ball to protect himself.

The pigeon hops off the bench, flies over, and eats the Alka-Seltzer. It then inflates, it's body growing  like a balloon. The camera cuts back to the man. We hear a loud explosion, a bright flash, and a puff of feathers. He lifts up his head and it cuts back to the bird. All that is left are two smoking pigeon legs surrounded by a charred black blast radius.

The businessman dusts himself off and sits back down on the bench. He has a smug grin as he pulls out a cookie from his brown paper sack. He smells it, feeling quite proud of his victory. He suddenly hears the cooing sounds of hundreds of pigeons. He opens his eyes to see a large group of pigeons staring at the cookie he now holds.

The camera cuts back to the businessman who gulps.

THE END

Bussinessman FIRST PASS

OPEN IN NEW TAB FOR BETTER VIEWAGE!

Pigeon

some quick initial thumbnails exploring mr. pigeon. 

feedback would be appreciated

thumbs

these thumbnails are to get an idea of what should/shouldn't be in the scene for this short.  Are these too complicated? Do we need to simplify.  I like C and A a lot.  Wesley's thumbnails for this scene are fantastic too.  We just need to know if we need to design lampposts or trees or anything else random that should be in the scene.  

Here are some color examples I'm leaning toward

i have pigeon ref I could post too, but I think I'm going to hold off on that one

FIGURING OUT COMPOSITION AND POSSIBLE COLOR SCHEME

I'm happy with the color version. I would like to fit in a street lamp...but it serves its purpose as a rough.  I'm also liking the swirly design. I repeated it in the branches three times before I realized I was even doing it. I incorporated it into the bench. It could be a recurring design...like in Disney's Hercules. Who knows.

THOUGHTS?! IDEAS?! CRITIQUES?!